I can has lawyer?

Wail isn't dis a fine howpooyoudo. Caged up in a cage by my own people, fur 3 days now. No charges except play bitin an diggin inna yard, no fone calls, an I only gets outside onna leash. I do gets a hearing cuz I can still bark loud, but it aint right I tell ya!

It all started a few days ago. They woked me up early and hauled me down to da vet wif no breakfast or nothin and left me there. When I woked up again, it was a next day and I had little owie on my tummy. They said I gots spaydered. WTF?!

I don't know what they did to my tummy but I'm tired of bein inna cage an I'm redy to bite!

Send lawyers toys and cookies, da poop has hit da fan.